theprojectlab

Project 365 - Week 5

2012-02-09T10:30:00.000Z

036
Who's behind you?!

035
Yes, we definitely have snow

034
Determined to be a hoody!

033
The bedtime 'routine' seems to be working

032
My view today looked prettiest at dusk

031
We had a play day...I'm learning to embrace the mess

030
Lunchtime tickles

I'm famous, I'm famous!

2012-02-08T11:54:00.001Z

Well, sort of :)

I was very pleased to receive an email a couple of weeks ago from Sainsbury's Money blog to say I was featured in a list of top 20 brilliant baby blogs. After first wondering whether it was some sort of scam (yes I am that suspicious) I decided to click the link and there it was, my little old blog listed on the page.

I blushed a little, looked at the excellent company I was in, blushed again, read the description they had written: "Follow our heroine as she scares waiters with her baby bump and nurtures it into a toddler." and blushed a lot!

It made me feel very proud, but also a bit sad that I haven't kept this blog as up to date as I would have liked. But after all this 'heroine' (hehe) has been busy being a Mum so that's what is important.

It has however given me a little kick up the bum, that I needed, to start sharing a little more. In some ways it was easier to share the struggles and the worries but I am happy to say these are few and far between these days. I need to get better at sharing the good times too, the new little things that E does, the cheeky monkey he seems to be turning in to, the way he waves his Daddy off to work. After all, those are all parts of the journey too and let's be honest probably more fun for you guys to read!

So a big thank you to Sainsbury's Money Matters for featuring me and I hope to be back soon with amusing tales of my soon to be toddler!

*Runs off and screams in denial that she has a nearly 1 year old!*

Busy, busy

2012-02-07T17:33:00.000Z

I thought it was about time to write a blog post that wasn't just photos for my 365 project!

I have spoken briefly about reasons for the radio silence but things keep moving faster than I can keep up with. I know this is a good thing and it should certainly reap rewards this year but blimey it's busy.

One of the reasons for this is that I have set up another blog, which I don't think I have spoken about too much here. It's called Support Independents and I actually set it up last November in a frustration with people's (including mine!) reliance on large organisations and not small independent businesses. I have been most active on Twitter but there is also a Facebook page and last week I did our first gift guide... for Valentine's Day.

I really want to be able to create a feel of community and provide information and tips for small businesses as well as raise the profile of them as a whole.

This morning, whilst little E was asleep I decided to use the time wisely and create a free desktop calendar for people to download. Although we are already seven days into February I thought it might still be useful for some people.

If you want to download it for yourself you can find it here.

I probably won't post on here too often about what is happening over at Support Independents so if it is your kind of thing, or you know someone who might be interested then please head over and follow the blog. I'd love a few more familiar faces :)

x

Project 365 - Week 4

2012-02-01T22:40:00.000Z


029 Learning, it's been a while!


028 In his posh shirt for a friends birthday


027 Bloody comp-u-ters!


026 The boys entertaining themselves


025 The forseeable future


024 I can feed myself yoghurt Mummy!

023
Always one eye on the explorer

Radio silence

2012-01-26T13:30:00.002Z

Roberts Radio Screen print
Available from memohelen for $20

Just a warning that there may be a bit of radio silence around here in the coming weeks as plans have slightly changed. The world of full time work is beckoning me so most of my spare time will be taken up with applying for jobs.

I currently have a list of at least 16 applications to get through.

Wish me luck and I really, really, hope to be back soon!

x

Project 365 - Week 3

2012-01-26T13:06:00.000Z

016
Lovely blue skys

017
First trip

018
The 'I forgot to take a photo' photo!

019
Where do I even start?

020
Peering through the playpen

021
He finally has his own wardrobe!

022
Making some progress with the tidying

Project 365 - Week 2

2012-01-26T12:57:00.001Z

008
At the museum

009
A bit of bedtime reading

010
I just couldn't resist

011
The Artist - brilliant film!

012
Cuddles with Great Nana

013
Finally, 2012 planning

014
Driving home

015
Snotty, dressing gown cuddles

Project 365 - Week 1

2012-01-12T15:27:00.001Z

One thing I am going to attempt in 2012 is Project 365, or more accurately this year Project 366. This will involve taking one photo a day for the whole year. Let's be honest, chances of me getting to the end of the year with this are slim, but hey a girl can try :)

001 - 007

002

001

003

004

005

006

007

A belated Happy New Year...

2012-01-09T11:32:00.000Z

I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and New Year and it is safe to say this post is a little belated!

We had a lovely Christmas, E's first, but there were a few illnesses and to be honest I'm still not 100%. I have lots of stories and photos to share but there is plenty of time. I have been doing a lot of thinking and mental planning and am really looking forward to making some of these ideas happen in 2012.

At the end of 2011 I started to worry that I hadn't achieved things that I had wanted to during the year. I Tweeted something similar and it didn't take me long for me to realise I was being too hard on myself. Afterall, 2011 was the year I had my first baby, and learnt to deal with all the things that it brings and set up my own business, {Mason & Co}.

I'll settle for that :)

So in 2012 I hope to get back with 'the list', I have another business idea and I want to start freelancing to bring in some extra cash. I want to continue to be the best Mum I can be and I am looking forward to E's development over the next year - I can't believe its less than 2 months until his first birthday! I want to continue with this blog, this is something I have thought about very hard. I will make time for it as a routine emerges for 2012 and hope to focus more on design, the handmade and my adventures finding {Mason & Co} treasures.

I am not going to beat myself up for spending too long on my phone, or on Pinterest or 'wasting' time doing nothing. Everything I do is a choice and 2012 is the year to remember that.

Happy 2012 all!

2012 calendar from Yumalum

Silent Sunday

2011-12-11T22:50:00.001Z

And it's December!

2011-12-03T18:51:00.001Z

Where are the days going?!

I can happily say a lot of my time is now being spent on {Mason & Co} with business going well. I am loving uncovering the treasures, researching them online and then sharing them. Oh, and selling them is not bad either.

I have also set up another new project (this is the project lab after all!) but have decided to keep that on the back burner until the new year. It is safe to say there is a lot going on.

Little E is now not so little and is crawling well and attempting to stand up. He was nine months yesterday and I can't believe how grown up he seems already. He is always happy and smiling and I am so proud of him everyday.

Enough of the soppy Mum stuff, I have spent the last hour browsing Etsy for felt Christmas decorations. I am starting to think a crawling nine month old, a real Christmas tree and glass decorations might not be the best idea. I hope you like my felt-tastic selections for Christmas 2011.

I hope to see you, at some point, before January!

Christmas decorations f... FishesMakeWish... $13.00	Retro Felt Christmas Or... SillyOllie $5.75	3 Pink and Grey Ornamen... RedRedComplete... $9.00	Reindeer Head Ornament ... deargirlface $22.00
Mittens Ornament - Vint... WearTheCanvas $14.00	Set of 5 Felt Christmas... FruityCocoIsla... $29.00	Red Heart Eco Felt Chri... SweetPB $12.50	Vintage style Christmas... FruityCocoIsla... $14.00
Enchanted forest -Whims... BalloonHighway $7.00	Felt Christmas decorati... PrettyPlush $48.00	Holiday Heart decoratio... luluhopping198... $6.00	Christmas Decorations 5... spottyhen $9.99

Treasury tool by Red Row Studio.

Oh dear it's been a while...

2011-11-01T11:38:00.001Z

I haven't posted in oh so long. It isn't that I don't care anymore it's just that so much seems to have been going on.

Mainly I have been busy setting up shop. It's something that I have considered for a while, I have always wanted my own business but have never quite got the idea right but this, I think, could work.

I love second hand and vintage treasures, always have. I grew up in a house full of antiques as my Grandpa used to dabble and my parents love the 1940s so I guess it was kind of inevitable.

So, if you haven't already discovered it through Twitter then here it is.... drum roll please!....

I have set up a shop on Etsy which you can see a taster of below. I have lots more things to add, it is just about finding the time. It would be great if you would have a little browse, maybe add me to your circle or favourite an item.

The shop is here and I am also on Facebook (I'd love a 'like') and on Twitter.

I look forward to sharing more with you soon!

Treasury Tuesday... Spooooky!

2011-10-11T09:00:00.000+01:00

Well, maybe not that spooky - I avoided the really 'scary' stuff - but definitely inspired by Halloween!

Owl Photo Print "M... SSCphotography $25.00	Halloween spooky jet bl... bookity $24.00	Halloween Boo wood bloc... thecupcakekid $28.00	Vintage Alphabet Mini C... 30one $9.95
Witch's Tea Party -... aquamarinedrea... $21.00	Twilight Zone - Vintage... SilentHeartVin... $9.00	Charming Set of Hallowe... vintagescrapsh... $2.50	BLACK AND WHITE SPOOKY ... ddots $19.95
Happy Halloween - Spook... PaperAvenue $2.75	Vintage Royal Typewrite... blueskyclouds $21.00	Happy Halloween Bunting... kerrigilpin $10.00	25 Yards Black and Whit... ALilHeadstart $2.75

Treasury tool by Red Row Studio.

Check out some other spooky treasuries over at Little Red Buttons.

x

[ . . Wonderful Week . . ] A busy few weeks

2011-10-10T11:22:00.000+01:00

Maybe I should change this post to a monthly one ;) I just can't keep up!

The past few weeks have involved a lovely holiday (post to come soon), lots of car booting (actually wrote that post!), job applications (post to come soon), starting some new ventures (post to come soon) - do you see a theme emerging here!

Excitingly it has also included E getting his first teeth (!), you can't really see them yet but you can certainly feel them, like little razors at the bottom of his mouth. He is also loving his food, and not drinking much milk these days. He's sleeping better and really, really trying to crawl. I can't believe how grown up he seems already. I really wasn't expecting this at 7 months.

The next few weeks should be pretty exciting ones so I will keep you posted...hopefully!

Silent Sunday

2011-10-09T23:42:00.001+01:00

Treasury Tuesday... Fantasy date night

2011-10-04T19:07:00.000+01:00

After missing a few weeks of Treasury Tuesday I was determined to get today's in.

I have gone a bit crazy and decided to wander off in to fantasy land for my date night treasury. Imagine, it is the early 1960's, you smoke (I don't), you like coffee (I don't) and the night is long.

Enjoy!

Estate 1ct Diamond Ring... fairytaletreas... $650.00	Vintage 1960s Susan Sma... Frocksmith $95.00	Vintage Noritake "... TheBeetlesKnee... $175.00	Vintage large martini g... MidwoodVintage $19.99
Closing Shop CLEARANCE ... starletstyles $28.50	1930's Art Deco Sta... newoldjewels $200.00	1960s Travel Clock Fall... gogovintage $20.00	Fada Bullet Radio, Mode... 4EyesAndEars $595.00
1960s Polaroid Land Cam... SarahAnntiques $25.00	Vintage CIGARETTE CASE ... missantique $112.00	Mod Vintage 1960s Rhine... RubyChicBoutiq... $28.00	Sparkly Rhinestone Earr... RubyLemons $10.00

Treasury tool by Red Row Studio.

Check out some other date night treasuries over at Little Red Buttons.

Silent Sunday

2011-10-02T20:38:00.001+01:00

Some bargains, a sunrise and a bit of cash...

2011-09-28T18:25:00.001+01:00

I haven't posted in what seems like an age. I just don't seem to have been finding the time for the online world recently. E is drinking less milk, therefore severely cutting down on the few minutes here and there to catch up on Twitter and my other free evening/Mr B is home from work time has been taken up by starting to look for and apply for jobs.

Nevermind, I am sure times will change again soon but I have so many posts floating around in my head - a belated write up from our holiday, something about jobs and looking for those elusive part-time jobs, and sharing some pretty things with you.

And on that note I thought I would share with you some of the bargains I picked up at Sunday's car boot sale. At 6pm on Saturday night I decided that I wanted to stand and sell at a car boot sale the next morning. Umm, me and my great ideas. There I was in the loft in the dark, rummaging through boxes to find potential car boot items. As always there was a wealth of stuff. Books, DVDs, unwanted presents, you know the kind of thing. Mr B loaded the car for me and the next morning I was up at 5.30am to get on my merry way.

Perhaps unsurprisingly it was dark when I set off, so with headlights on and a flask of tea I drove down the deserted lanes to the car boot field. All set up by 6.30am and having managed to avoid all the early morning peering into your car boot types I stood and enjoyed the sunrise. I found it all actually, quite relaxing!

The hardest bit was not being able to go round all the tables at that precious grab a bargain stage of the day because I was stuck on mine. The time however flew by and it wasn't long before it was 10.30am and my Mum and Dad appeared, followed shortly by Mr B and E to give me a break.

Finally, I could make my escape. And boy was it worth it. Here is my haul...

Some lovely Hornsea Tapestry storage jars for 50p each. I've wanted some new tea and coffee canisters for ages and haven't been able to find the right ones, and couldn't justify the cost of these Orla Kiely ones, well not for three anyway!

Now unfortunately I can't take credit for this one as it was Mr B spotted it but we picked up this print for £2 and it looks perfect in our lounge, currently on top of the fireplace in a shiny new frame. We think it is from the 1950's and was certainly in its original battered frame and seems to be number 14 of 450 made. The deer are from a car boot earlier in the year which I got for £1 for the two.

This one was also for Mr B, the cocktail shaker not the Roberts radio. Again I think it is 1950's and is pressed glass but looks a treat on Mr B's alcohol shelf. I'm pretty sure it will be for display purposes only but being as it was thrown in with the storage jars you can't complain!

Finally, we couldn't forget E. We got all these clothes for a £1 for when he's a bit older. Some great cords, dungarees, jumper and cool check shirt.

So not bad for a mornings work, I took just over £100 on our stall, it cost £10 to stand and hire a table and we spent about £5. But most importantly I had a great time and have loved having some cash in my pocket that 'I' have earnt.

Now I just need to work out how to break the news to Mr B that I am thinking about going again this week!

Treasury Tuesday (ahem Wednesday!) ... Awesome Autumn

2011-09-21T11:58:00.000+01:00

I've missed a couple of Abby's Treasury Tuesdays but now I am back from holiday I thought I would sneak this one in a day late.

The theme is autumn and for me that means rusty colours, being cosy and maybe a little time for some crafting. Happy autumn everyone x

autumn - LARGE mid cent... poolponydesign $70.00	The Coffee Break Hand K... annerstreet $34.00	Pumpkin Pie Lambs Wool ... HannahLouiseBu... $25.00	Vintage English plaid s... LittlePadShop $10.00
Retro Floral Fabric, Br... RavenandMatild... $1.80	Topaz Oval Czech Glass ... SilverSense $1.20	Felted Wool Acorns in s... ZMFelt $8.00	Autumn Glow Felt Circle... jellybeanstudi... $15.00
Autumn Leaves Baby Quil... Kikelomo $45.00	Customisable Soft Natur... littlemisslool... $98.00	Bedroom Set - Cushion C... ACrookedSixpen... $76.00	Wool Tunic/ Asymmetrica... NervousWardrob... $70.00

Treasury tool by Red Row Studio.

[ . . Wonderful Weeks . . ] There has been a few...

2011-09-07T23:36:00.000+01:00

We have been so busy having wonderful weeks that I haven't actually been able to find the time to blog about them ;)

We have:

Spoken to friends the other side of the world
Visited Calke Abbey
Seen lots of baby friends - E really is the sociable one!
Enjoyed quite a few pub lunches
Grabbed some bargains at the car boot sale
Been to friend's houses for tea and cake and lots of inspiring chats
Prepared to say goodbye to family for a few months as they go off on their travels
Laughed at the outdoor theatre (which I couldn't recommend highly enough)
Celebrated E's 6 month birthday
Learned how to sit up!

Most importantly I have really enjoyed being a Mum. It has suddenly dawned on me that with work (of some description!) pending I really should be grasping all these special days. Even if that means enjoying a day at home in our PJ's!

The next few weeks are also promising to be wonderful with holidays, exciting plans and hopefully some creativity.

x

6 months today

2011-09-02T22:30:00.000+01:00

I still can't actually quite beleive it. E is 6 months today, the 2nd September.

It's crazy!

I feel we have come on leaps and bounds since his 16 week birthday. He is such a happy, playful little boy. He almost now doesn't even seem like a baby. He has the most amazing personality already. I am so proud of him every day. He makes me smile, laugh, be silly, and cry - in a good way these days!

To celebrate his 6 month birthday we were lucky enough to be invited to the opening of the Build-A-Bear Workshop store in Leicester. Obviously E is a little too young to appreciate everything the store has to offer - choosing a bear, stuffing it, and picking out an outfit but I sure enjoyed it. We were given a bear to say thank you for going, and as you can see below, E loves him already. Maybe for his 12 month birthday we can go and choose him some clothes.

Happy 6 month birthday my lovely little boy x

Treasury Tuesday....Leicester lovelies

2011-08-30T09:42:00.000+01:00

This week's theme for Treasury Tuesday set by Abby was 'Local to you' which was a perfect one for me. If I am buying handmade then I love nothing more than to buy something as local to me as possible. If I am browsing Etsy I nearly always search for UK only. I am not sure whether this goes back to years ago when I was quite 'into' the UK craft scene and the good crafters needed as much help as they can get. There is also something about the local craft fair about it. Some of the things are good, some are bad but usually they are all made with love.

So, here is my treasury this week, my Leicester lovelies...

embroidered envelope... lucykatecrafts $20.00	Mini Cooper car - Ink a... lynseyhunter $20.00	Elephant-astic - 0-6 Mo... bellesandstork... $15.00	Leather clutch "&q... KarrahDesigns $59.00
Yellow Lavender owl dec... Beaky $14.00	Personalised Children&#... bypoppywithlov... $33.00	Limited Edition Print &... TheBotanicalCo... $75.00	Summer Breeze Hair Pins... BINAGEYER $15.50
Vintage Dominoes LoLoVintage $8.00	retro owl 2 lucykatecrafts $38.00	MERINO SOYBEAN HANDPAIN... YummyYarnsUK $10.20	Leonora - Vintage Headd... LMVintage $125.00

Treasury tool by Red Row Studio.

My favourite this week has to be the embroidered envelope (top left) by lucykatecrafts which can be personalised in colour and message. Perfect.

PS. And yes there is an elephant that has creeped in!

Silent Sunday

2011-08-28T05:59:00.001+01:00

For Silent Sunday

Treasury Tuesday....Decorating every room

2011-08-23T18:35:00.000+01:00

So this week's treasury was 'redecorate any room in your home'. Well we have spent the last five and a half years decorating every room in this blooming house and I am very happy to say they are all done.

That is, apart from artwork and pictures. We have some up and about and we are lucky to have lots of artist friends so our favourite piece was acquired by swapping a guitar - there's no way we could afford it otherwise! I am also known for not wanting to commit to nails in the wall. I like to be able to change my mind, so the Victorian picture rail that is in almost every room certainly helps with that.

Therefore my treasury this week is various pieces of artwork, some originals, some prints. All, seemingly quite graphic. This is because I actually struggled to find much good artwork that weren't. This weekly searching on Etsy has certainly reminded me how much rubbish/not my taste items there are on there. It also often makes me think I could do better, and maybe one of these days I should.

Anyway, enough of the blabbering here are my picks...

teal plantlife - origin... summersville $20.00	Doris Day Cow Postcard.... mimilove $3.30	I Love You Blogs and Te... jenniferramos $9.50	Retro poster Mid centur... handz $19.00
Painted Fence fine art ... seaandhorse $20.00	Typography Print art p... handz $19.00	20% OFF SALE: Alphabet ... drawpilgrim $24.00	abc rainbow - large alp... upup $24.00
Hummingbird Art - Gift ... MaiAutumn $24.00	Oak Tree woodcut (yello... michellehan $30.00	Let's bake, colorfu... PragyaK $20.00	The Banjo Bird iotaillustrati... $15.00

Treasury tool by Red Row Studio.

PS. I had to include the obligatory elephant somewhere :)

Does the doubt ever go away?

2011-08-22T18:35:00.000+01:00

The doubt is setting in again. That I am not a natural mother.

I love E to bits and often find myself crying with how much I love him but this evening I have asked Mr B to take him for a walk so that I can have some time to myself. I feel bad. He has done nothing wrong, yes he has been a bit more whingey than normal these past few days but nothing to complain about. Certainly nothing compared to the 'old days'.

He is still smiling and playing, and being his usual charming, monkey self but for some reason I just needed a break.

I have tried to think about whether it's because I am tired? No. Have not been out of the house? No. Missing adult conversation? No. I don't know what it is but I know I needed it.

So rather than catching up on Twitter or Facebook which is what I normally tend to do when I catch a few minutes to myself (when E is asleep) I have decided to do something productive and actually write a blog post. I just don't seem to have had the words recently to write anything, and I haven't been making the time. If I am honest, I feel guilty about having time away from E.

Is this silly? I feel it shouldn't be silly, surely everyone is entitled to some time off but it's not like I am at work. Mr B is at work, 5 days a week, 9-5 and whilst he can't wait to see and play with E when he gets home in the evening, he is entitled to some time on his own too.

I just don't know what the balance is? When I mention to Mr B how I am feeling, he always jokes - well you go to work for me tomorrow and I'll go to the park etc. And to be completely honest I would love to swap for the day. To do something other than just be a Mum. It's not that he doesn't understand or isn't supportive. He couldn't be more supportive. If I arrange a day out at the weekend with a friend, he won't mind, and when you look back over the last few months it is me that has had more time with my friends, away from E than what he has (in my defence, I am just better at organising things than he is!).

I don't know what the solution is. In the next few months I will need to start doing some days of work in the week (who knows where that is coming from, but that is another post altogether) and that will give me time away. Then, I will probably be complaining about not seeing E enough, and focusing on all the things I am missing out on!

There really is no perfect solution is there? Am I over thinking things? Any advice? I can't be the only/first one to feel like this can I? If so, then I really am a crap Mum.

Silent Sunday

2011-08-21T20:03:00.001+01:00

For Silent Sunday

Treasury Tuesday....Beautiful blues

2011-08-16T17:52:00.000+01:00

Another week, another Treasury Tuesday.

This time the theme is blue and I have chosen to pick things just from the UK. I hope you like my choices. I am enjoying this weekly excuse to browse the internet ;) I just need to try really hard not to buy anything!

You can see some other blue themed treasuries at little red buttons.

Flowery 50's painte... StillLifefurni... $140.00	Blue Fingerless Cable M... KittyKatPurls $25.00	Pair of Poole Pottery T... AllysAntiques $33.00	scandi - screenprinted ... summersville $5.00
Sea Green See Blue Ipad... breagha $55.00	Vintage BINGO journal /... thepapergarden... $14.00	Hand Printed Carribean ... RusticCountryC... $35.00	Pride and Prejudice Boo... JezebelCharms $40.00
Sylvia... tiny wee croc... EmmaLamb $17.00	Porcelain Dish - 99-365... seaurchin $80.00	Blue Cotton Elephant TheHunnyBunnyC... $42.00	Retro Blue Swallows Pri... Philippinka $6.50

Treasury tool by Red Row Studio.

Silent Sunday

2011-08-14T06:47:00.001+01:00

For Silent Sunday

Treasury Tuesday....Wonderful Wood

2011-08-09T09:02:00.001+01:00

This Tuesday I am taking part in Abby's (little red buttons) Treasury Tuesday. We all know that I love an alliteration and I also quite like Etsy :) If you haven't heard of Etsy then where have you been? But, seriously it is a great website for finding unique handmade items. It is an International site with the majority of sellers being in the US but you can search just in the UK, however it's not usually a problem as most ship to the UK for reasonable rates.

A treasury is simply a personally selected group of items, favourites so to speak. The theme for this weeks 'Treasury Tuesday' is Wood, you could probably tell that from the pictures below, and I have decided to pick items under £30 (the prices below are displayed in $). You'll notice that some are for me, some for the home and some unsurprisingly for E. I hope you like my selection. x

SALE Walnut Scallop Bir... Joannarutter $32.30	Blue Arrow - Wooden Tri... lucie0ellen $11.00	organic Camera - natura... littlesaplingt... $25.00	SCOOP & SORT Colors Wo... applenamos $22.00
White Wooden Bracelet bhmakes $33.20	CHARLOTTE-Huge Wooden H... BlondeChick $29.00	Wood Toy Train Set Natu... greenbeantoys $35.00	GEEK recycled-wood sign WilliamDohman $42.00
Deer in the Forest - Wo... peppersprouts $25.00	5-piece organic SAFARI ... smilingtreetoy... $48.00	natural Elephant Teethi... littlesaplingt... $12.00	10 pc LOVE Guest Book P... BellaPuzzlesTo... $45.00
Letter E Wall Wooden Ha... OldNewAgain $32.00	1960s carved antelope Lilsparlour $8.00	Midcentury Danish Moder... BadCatBoutique $28.00	UNFRAMED 8x10 Sweet Ele... petitcollage $15.00

Treasury tool by Red Row Studio.

Have you seen...? Jealous Sweets

2011-08-08T11:19:00.003+01:00

When I saw the opportunity on Twitter pop up about reviewing some sweets I couldn't resist. What's more they were vegetarian sweets. The non veggies amongst you may be thinking "aren't all sweets vegetarian?", I certainly used to think so but no, many sweets contain pork gelatin. Tasty!

Now I'm not vegetarian but Mr B is so I have been on a steep learning curve about what is 'safe', you don't want to know how long it takes to do a supermarket shop constantly checking for the little green 'v' on everything you pick up. Anyway, back to the sweets...

I was sent a few sweets by the lovely 'Jealous' for me and Mr B to try. Jealous prides itself in sweets that are 'Irresistible, delectable sweets packaged in gorgeous gift boxes, made from only natural ingredients and suitable for those with specific dietary and ethical requirements'. Sounded good to me :)

They arrived in a bright pink box and before I could blink Mr B had swiped some to take to work. They certainly passed the look good test. He reported back that they were really nice. I also managed to rescue a few and they were nice. Very gummy and chewy. I saved the sour ones until last as they are normally my favourite. They were nice and slightly jelly baby-ish but I have to admit, not quite as sour as I like. Maybe it was because I only had a couple and couldn't properly build up the taste. They were however Mr B's favourite.

So in summary, we were impressed. Mr B especially said that it was good to remember what sweets tasted like after he worked out it had been at least 10 years since he had tried any! I did like them but have to admit that I may still be a Haribo girl - maybe I just like pork in my sweets?

I would however feel happier about giving these sweets to little E when he's older as a treat as they have no artificial colours or flavours and certainly tasted 'natural'. The packaging, yes I do judge a book by it's cover, is also very nice.

Why not take a look at their website and if you are near Selfridges pop in to the food court and pick up a box.

..........:..:..:..:.. Disclaimer: This is a review for which I got 'paid' for in a handful of sweets :) ..:..:..:..........

Silent Sunday

2011-08-07T07:22:00.001+01:00

For Silent Sunday

[ . . 30 before 30 . . ] 19. Try an adult ballet class

2011-08-06T10:03:00.000+01:00

When I was younger I used to do quite a lot of dancing, mainly modern and gymnastics. The two forms of dance I didn't do much longer than a couple of classes were tap and ballet.

I tried tap a few years ago which I quite enjoyed but life ended up taking over, so that just left me with ballet to try. I had never managed to find an adult class though and didn't fancy prancing around with a lot of 7 year olds in a leotard.

Luckily, I found a local adult class called ballet fusion and the website said: if you want the long, lean and toned look of the professional dancer then this is the class for you and it strengthens back and abdominal muscles and, most importantly, is highly enjoyable and fun so sounded perfect.

I am now on my 5th week and I can honestly say it is really, really hard! Not only am I using muscles I've never used (well not since I was 4!) but trying to memorise the routines the teacher seems to make up on the spot is near impossible! The first week was taken up with first school day nerves but everyone seemed nice so I went back, and again, and again. But, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier as the mini routines change every week. And without fail during the 'turns' section every week I nearly end up on the floor or hitting the wall as I attempt to gracefully travel from one corner of the room diagonally to the other whilst getting my feet in the right place, my arms looking dainty and keeping my eyes off the floor whilst spinning.

It is certainly making my legs stronger and I am enjoying the stretching element of it. I feel like a ballerina when I have my leg on the bar but I am sure I don't look like one. In fact I don't think I have ever felt less like a ballerina than when I am there.

The last two weeks I have struggled to get myself to go but I have had a quiet word with myself. My list (previously known as my 30 before 30 list) has been all about me pushing myself and my boundaries. Ballet is certainly doing that. I am not sure whether I am actually enjoying it but I am definitelay ticking it off the list. I am going to try and get to 10 weeks and then, falling nicely in line with our holiday, I will decide whether to go back. If nothing else, by then I will be the proud owner of some worn in ballet shoes ;)

[ . . Wonderful Week . . ] Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside...

2011-08-04T16:32:00.000+01:00

Since little E arrived we haven't ventured very far, in fact we hadn't been out of the Midlands together as a family but this week that all changed.

Mr B's best friend has fairly recently moved down to Kent so we ~~invited ourselves to stay~~ were invited down for a long weekend. I have been craving the sea for a while now. It is the only real place I feel free and love breathing in the fresh air, looking out on to the vast sparkling water and hearing the relaxing waves.

It certainly didn't disappoint, which is surprising really as I had been so excited all week leading up to it, even the 6 hour journey down there couldn't dampen my spirits.

Mr B and I were very excited about it being E's first time seeing the sea and we were keen to go for a paddle. The weather was certainly on our side so off to Whitstable beach we went, gritted our teeth as we walked over the stones and in to the freezing cold clear sea. E obviously didn't know what was going on but was fascinated with the water, constantly moving and sparkling in the sun.

The following day we headed off to the south coast. We walked along Camber Sands with E in the baby carrier kicking away in his sun hat.

It was perfect. In fact, the time together we spent on Camber Sands beach was lovely, hearing all the children play, enjoying a good cup of English tea discussing how we could do it more often. Move to the seaside? Not really an option these days. Have a seaside holiday every year? Is that really enough. Rent a holiday home for 3 months a year? Now we're talking :)

So, after coming back down from cloud nine we made the long journey back home smiling that we had had our first family seaside break. We really can't wait for the next one now.

I'd love to hear your recommendations for baby family places to visit. x

Silent Sunday

2011-07-24T09:37:00.001+01:00

For Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday

2011-07-17T06:37:00.002+01:00

For Silent Sunday.

[ . . Wonderful Week . . ] The big three-o

2011-07-13T20:56:00.000+01:00

Well it's arrived. I have now turned 30.

If you have been a regular reader you will know that I wasn't particularly looking forward to the milestone but actually it has (so far) been pain free. I should have known that really but after a mini meltdown when turning 25 I wasn't that confident. I have always had a thing about milestones and anniversaries.

So I am now 30, a wife, and a stay at home mum. Blimey I couldn't have predicted that at 25!

I had a wonderful weekend celebrating the event with my nearest and dearest friends and family. A tea party for friends on Saturday, dinner with family on Sunday and a walk on Monday. Perfect.

The only thing that I'm not too happy about is completely failing to finish my 30 before 30 list. In fact I have only got about half way through. So I am going to have to turn it into another list because I am keen to finish it in some form or another. So do I go for 12 before 2012, 101 things to do before I die, 31 before 31, 40 before 40. I'm just not sure.

For the time being though I am just going to concentrate on being me and the best mum, wife, daughter and friend I can be. Blogging and the list are going to have to come second (or should that be fifth!?) because at the minute I just don't seem to be able to find the time to do it all.

Hope to see you all soon and any thoughts on the list please let me know.

x

Silent Sunday

2011-07-10T09:15:00.001+01:00

For Silent Sunday

[ . . 30 before 30 . . ] 7. Go on a date with Mr B

2011-07-05T16:47:00.000+01:00

This one off my 30 before 30 list actually makes me laugh now I read it back.

Like many of them I added it because it is something that we never used to do enough of. But now, we have the perfect excuse. The loving and doting grandparents can't wait to baby sit for little E so, well, we have to keep them happy now don't we ;)

Probably the most memorable real date of recent times was on my due date when we went out for dinner to take my mind off things and if you are a regular reader you will know it did the trick as little E arrived the morning after. Since then we have been out for dinner quite a few times which we used to love to do in the 'old days' and then most recently the pièce de résistance has been to go to a gig.

This really takes me back to the old days. When Mr B and I first met he was in a band. In fact that was his golden chat up line. Needless to say we used to go to gigs quite often - Mr B's and others. We have been very fortunate to get some great tickets and see some now quite large bands in small dingey places.

Ones I can remember off the top of my head are Scissor Scissors, Ed Harcourt, Death Cab for Cutie, Flaming Lips, The Magic Numbers, Iron & Wine, Cake, Grandaddy, Kings of Convenience, Supergrass, M Ward, and Midlake. No doubt I have forgotten some classics which Mr B will tease me about.

But, most recently we drove 40 miles to see Fleet Foxes and The Bees who were supporting. We have seen The Bees a lot of times and they are one of my favourites, what I call happy music which is always good. They weren't really up to their usual standard but they were only the support so I will let them off. It was the first time we had seen Fleet Foxes and they didn't disappoint. Having had their albums on constant repeat in the car since E was born I even knew all the songs.

We had such a great time but did struggle to talk about things other than baby E but I guess that is inevitable these days.

We do now need to plan our next date though, we don't actually have one lined up. Hmmm..? Do any of you have regular 'date nights'? What are your favourites? Cinema, meal..?

Silent Sunday

2011-07-03T08:28:00.000+01:00

For Silent Sunday.

[ . . Wonderful Week . . ] This time last week...

2011-07-02T23:21:00.001+01:00

...I was on my way home from CyberMummy feeling a little bit tipsy and absolutely exhausted.

The day for me was a complete mix of emotions. I had a bit of a wobble leaving my boys at the train station and I had completely underestimated how overwhelmed I would feel in a room full of over 400 women. It was bizarre. I have been to many conferences in the past but never one where there was quite so many women. I am used to being the minority.

My arrival at the venue was slightly marred by the fact that my phone had completely crashed so I was in a bit of a panic. After being saved by one of the wonderful hairdressers who let me borrow his power socket I started to calm down and made my way back in to the main room. And bang. It hit me.

I had actually come all the way to London, on my own, to a room full of strangers, out of choice. Was I completely mad?? I made my way to grab a cup of tea (sugar always helps!) and in no time it was time for the first keynotes.

The first by a Facebook bigwig was interesting and not the 'sales pitch' I thought it would be. What is there to sell I guess. But to be honest I wasn't really listening and was more interested in scanning the room playing 'spot the blogger'. It was then I realised I hardly recognised anyone. I didn't have long to ponder the thought though as Sarah Brown (yes that one) was next on and was utterly engaging, inspiring and to be honest quite surprising.

Then it was time for more tea and another sugar hit. As I stood enjoying my tea, waiting for the sugar to kick in I glanced around the room and it hit me again. I really was on my own. Suddenly everyone seemed to know each other and already be in pairs or groups. The few people I spotted on their own, and therefore was brave enough to introduce myself to turned out to be PR's. I really was wondering why I was there.

The rest of the day seemed a bit of a blur. A mixture of really interesting and thought provoking sessions and absolutely nerve racking, moments of loneliness. Finally it was 6 o'clock, the main sessions had finished and I thought I would leave early. Stumbling out with all the freebies and getting some dinner before the train home seemed like a good idea but I decided to grab at least one of the free glasses of wine first.

Well that went down quite nicely and gave me a bit of perspective. I had spent quite a bit of money to get myself there and I was actually thinking about leaving early? No, I had to make it worth while so, more wine, deep breath and well, I started to introduce myself to people. Deciding that I didn't care if I seemed like a stalker, after all what did that matter. It was probably my favourite part of the day.

In no time at all it was 8 o'clock and time to leave to get the train. I was ready, but in the end I had had a good day. The highlights for me really were meeting some great twitter and blogging friends (you know who you are!). I am not sure that the sessions have given me the direction I wanted for my blog but I am not sure anyone can do that. It is up to me.

After all it is all about the niche. And well, my niche is I guess me and at the minute this little chap...

All the sessions were live blogged from CyberMummy and you can find them here.

Silent Sunday

2011-06-26T07:02:00.001+01:00

For Silent Sunday

It's nearly CyberMummy time...

2011-06-24T22:55:00.001+01:00

Well in 12 hours time I am hoping to have settled in, spoken to a few people and maybe even spotted a few 'familiar' faces at CyberMummy.

If you follow me on Twitter you will probably be sick of all my tweets so far and I have to say it will only get worse tomorrow :) For those of you that have no idea what I am blabbering on about, CyberMummy is a conference in London for 'mummy' (and I think some Daddy) bloggers. I am not a massive fan of the name - but why knock something that works - and for me it is simply a great opportunity to meet, in real life, some of the wonderful people I have met online in the past year.

It is exactly one year ago today that we found out that we were expecting a baby and what followed was a scary few months. I don't think I could have got through it all without the Internet and I certainly couldn't have got through the first days, weeks and months once baby E arrived.

So as I get ready to go to bed on CyberMummy-eve I am feeling a little apprehensive and nervous but mainly excited to meet some of my new friends. I'll just need to stop myself from hugging them like some kind of lunatic ;).

Maybe I'll see you there...

PS. Apologies for the lack of photo I haven't worked out how to do that on the iPad yet! I'm practising ready for tomorrow :)

PPS. Here is my meet and greet x

The Gallery: 3 Word Gallery - Four months today

2011-06-21T22:52:00.000+01:00

...or 16 weeks depending on how you are counting :)

It has been far too long since I took part in Tara's Gallery on a Wednesday and this week I just couldn't resist due to the theme of 3 word's inspired by Simon Mayo's Radio 2 show. I used to always listen to that on my drive home from work...that certainly seems a long time ago!

Which moves me nicely on to my three words, E is four months today (or 16 weeks but that didn't sound as catchy!). The time has in one way flown and in another way, well it seems like a lifetime ago that he wasn't around. I, we, him have learnt so much in these precious few months. Here is a taster.

We started off by getting to know each other (1 day)

We have been making lots of friends, sometimes successfully (1 week)

There was a lot of crying and screaming in the first couple of months (2 weeks)

But we have received a lot of love and support in the real and virtual worlds (ongoing!)

Luckily there has been some sleeping too (6 weeks)

Along the way there has been lots of cuddles...

And lots of playing...

He loves his milk (14 weeks)

Which has led to this (14 weeks)

One thing is for sure, I certainly love my boy (15 weeks)

Happy 16 weeks! x

[ . . 30 before 30 . . ] 14. Read a book cover to cover

2011-06-20T10:00:00.001+01:00

I really enjoy reading but only really find time for it on holiday.

Unfortunately TV and day to day stuff just gets in the way at home and I usually just end up falling asleep! Having said that I have actually read a couple of books that I can use to tick this one off my 30 before 30 list.

The first is Hypnobirthing: The Breakthrough to Safer, Easier, More Comfortable Childbirth. Not your average page turner but for me brilliant. I had heard a lot about hypnobirthing and it really appealed to me as I had had previous success with hypnotherapy for my needle/injection phobia. I believe the power of hypnotherapy is very strong. The question was would it be strong enough for childbirth. Well I would definitely recommend the book to others. There was the usual 'too hippy' for me bits and I didn't do everything it recommended but overall it made a lot of sense. Surprisingly a lot of common sense. The visualisation techniques were especially useful and knowing that the body is designed for childbirth and just to trust it. I truly believe that this and listening to MP3's got me the birth I wanted. It even includes a poem which I really should pin on the fridge for those difficult days now and in the future.

Please, Mum and Dad...
   My hands are small, I don't mean to spill my milk.
   My legs are short - please slow down so I can keep up.
   Don't slap my hands when I touch something bright and pretty. I don't understand.
   Please look at me when I talk to you. It lets me know you are really listening.
   My feelings are tender - don't nag me all day. Let me make mistakes without feeling stupid.
   Don't expect the bed I make or the picture I draw to be perfect. Just love me for trying.
   Remember, I am a child, not a small adult. Sometimes I don't understand what you're saying.
   I love you so much. Please love me just for being myself, not just for the things I can do.

The second is One Day by David Nicholls and is your more typical page turner. It received a lot of attention in the press, had great reviews and Mr B's mother actually bought it for him but I think it was a bit too girly. Perfect for me however. It's tag line is 'twenty years, two people, one day' and follows Emma and Dexter every year from 1988, the night of their graduation, right through to 2008. It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me stay up for hours just to finish that next chapter. It is such a good concept for a book and by the end you really feel like you know Emma and Dexter and want to shout advice at them. I would recommend it to all especially as it is now less than £4 on Amazon! Oh, and if you need another excuse it has also been made into a film which is due to be released around August. I will definitely be watching it if only to relive the story again. I just hope they don't ruin it.

I have now started the first of Chris Evans autobiographies which is a first for me. I have never read an autobiography but I thought it was about time I tried. Let's just hope I can finish it this side of Christmas!

Do you read often? Have you any recommendations?

Silent Sunday

2011-06-19T10:42:00.000+01:00

For Silent Sunday.

[ . . 30 before 30 . . ] 6. Wear makeup/dress up at least once a month

2011-06-18T19:34:00.000+01:00

A selection from my 'style' board on pinterest

Following on from my last 30 before 30 post about my French manicure, this one seems to follow on quite well. I included it on my 30 before 30 list as the daily grind of life means I am normally too lazy to bother.

I don't wear makeup unless it's for a special occasion and understand that this may sound strange to most of you! Even when I do put a 'face on' it's normally just a bit of concealer and some eye shadow. I don't really know why this is but even as a teenager I didn't wear much makeup. I guess I have picked it up from my mum. The most makeup I have ever worn was for my wedding and that was because I got a professional to do it for me (I wanted to make sure the photos looked reasonable!) and even then I asked her to tone it down :)

Just to emphasise my laziness I also tend to end up wearing the same pair of jeans and favourite top for most occasions. Although you will be happy to know I normally wash them in between it is a little dull. I have been letting myself off this recently as not many of my clothes still fit after going up a dress size since having E. This would normally be a great excuse to invest in a new wardrobe but the timing isn't great whilst I'm on the remainder of my maternity/redundancy pay. To help inspire me a little (especially for when funds allow) I have started a 'style' board on pinterest. After all a girl can dream.

The good news is that since little E has been around it feels even more special to get dressed up, straighten my hair, and put perfume on. So, bizarrely this is one of the few of my 30 before 30's that has been easier and a lot more enjoyable since E's arrival! I don't know whether this is because I feel I am 'earning' this right or just that it makes a change but it is certainly easier.

We have been out for dinner a few times, to BBQ's, to a hen party, to a wedding.

This is definitely one that I want to keep up in the coming months and won't be ending when I reach the magic big three-o. In fact, it is likely to become more important the older I get.

Now, where is that anti-aging cream?? ;)

[ . . Wonderful Week . . ] Who am I?

2011-06-16T16:30:00.000+01:00

Found via pinterest

Well, it's been a good few weeks since I posted a Wonderful Week as I have been busy living life and somehow not finding the time to blog. I am hoping this changes as when I do actually make the time I really enjoy it and am very proud of it.

I guess I am always a bit nervous about posting as I want everything to perfect. When will I learn that nothing is perfect? Maybe if I was a bit more confident I wouldn't worry so much. There are so many wonderful blogs out there and I would love to be one of them but that will never happen if I don't just get on with it. I can't keep waiting for the perfect post subject to pop up in my mind. Some posts will be great, others not so but I need to keep it up.

When I was mooching around on the Internet the other day I stumbled upon a post that I had somehow missed at the time on the lovely Little Red Buttons blog by Abby. It really rang true, entitled 'Combating blog envy' and has played on my mind ever since. It refers to another post, 'Just say NO to blog envy' on a blog that I have never come across before about that sinking feeling you get after visiting amazing blogs about seemingly amazing lives. Luckily it gives a number of tips of how to be true to yourself and your blog and ignore the stats. Tips such as 'be original', 'respect the originality of others', 'blog blindly', 'be kind' and remember that blogging isn't everything. This is all very easy to say, and read but a bit harder for me to put in to practice.

I think I need to decide what type of blogger I am. I started this blog before little E was even a sparkle in my eye. Does this not make me a mummy blogger. Do I even want to be a mummy blogger? At the end of the day I would like people to read my blog, I would like for it to be enjoyed. I would like to be able to review some lovely products and services that I think others may be interested in. I don't want to review everything and anything, only those things of relevance to my life. I don't want it to be a blog full of reviews or a blog full of memes. But what do I want?

I do still feel true to my original strapline 'a place for me time, inspiration and aspiration' so I think this is what I need to focus on. Mum or not.

Maybe listening to those at CyberMummy will help me decide who I am in this blogging world.

How did you decide what type of blogger you are? Have you changed over time? Are you happy with your blog? Do you have any tips? I would love to know your blogging journeys x

Silent Sunday

2011-06-12T21:24:00.002+01:00

For Silent Sunday.

[ . . 30 before 30 . . ] 18. Have a French manicure

2011-06-09T11:48:00.000+01:00

I used to bite my nails until there was no nail left. Then I used to pick the skin around them. Needless to say my nails have never been a strong point.

However, in recent years they have improved. As I have become less stressed and anxious the picking has stopped. In fact they are now pretty good nails.

I always admire painted nails but I have never been able to do them myself. Not being a girly girl this isn't surprising. Therefore it felt like a real treat to have them painted. I have only had them done professionally once before, the night before my wedding. Not too risky I thought, loads of people have their nails done. But no, they were such a state I had to take all the polish off when I got home.

This is why I added it to my 30 before 30 list and with fingers crossed (no pun intended!) I booked an appointment to have a manicure as part of a spa day package. It has been good timing as I was able to use a voucher I got for Christmas, it has fallen just as I needed a day to myself and in time for my friends wedding on Saturday.

So what do you think? I'm pretty pleased.

But, actually the most important part of it is that I was able to spend some quality time with myself. It was heaven. I really do enjoy my own company.

I now just need to not chip them too much before Saturday!

Silent Sunday

2011-06-05T10:33:00.000+01:00

For Silent Sunday.

Silent Sunday

2011-05-29T17:10:00.002+01:00

For Silent Sunday.

Oh dear!

2011-05-29T17:07:00.001+01:00

I have been really rubbish at blogging lately. I just don't seem to have anything to say or the time to say it? I guess it means I have more important things to do like actually living. Anyway, we'll see what happens, maybe I'll find my voice again soon.

Please bear with me, x

Silent Sunday

2011-05-22T09:46:00.001+01:00

For Silent Sunday.

[ . . Wonderful Week . . ] On the way up

2011-05-18T13:08:00.002+01:00

I am a little late blogging this week. And I think that is a good thing. I must be feeling better.

In recent weeks I have been using my blog as an outlet to get all the scary and upsetting feelings out in the open. The fact that I haven't blogged is therefore reflective that these feelings are disappearing. Something that I never thought would actually happen.

The past week has seen the formula feeding really take off and we are both so much happier. We have just got back from the health visitor today and at 11 weeks old E is now 12lb 4oz. That's an amazing weight gain of 2lb in 2 weeks! Something is obviously agreeing with him :)

We have been out more and not had to worry about feeding in public. We have survived shops without crying fits and we have had lots of playing.

Maybe most bizarrely I have even been giving advice. Me, parenting advice. Hilarious really when you consider my past few weeks but it really does prove how quickly you can come out the other side.

And I really do hope that this is the start of the other side. I don't mind visiting the dark side occasionally but I don't want it to be home.

Hope you have all had wonderful weeks!

Silent Sunday

2011-05-14T22:04:00.001+01:00

For Silent Sunday

The Gallery: Chilled out - some of the time!

2011-05-11T07:45:00.000+01:00

A great topic for this week's Gallery - Chilled out.

E has a great knack of being and looking pretty chilled out. In fact he looks pretty cool a lot of the time.
Funny that, he must take after his Dad!

Sorry this is so short and sweet, I used all my energy on last week's gallery post!

Why not look at the other entries for this week at Sticky Fingers.

CyberMummy meet & greet

2011-05-10T19:09:00.000+01:00

Now I am officially a Mum I thought I would finally add myself to Carly at Mummys Shoes meet and greet ahead of CyberMummy in June.

I decided to buy a ticket back in February after umming and arrring for ages. I was undecided due to the cost and having a new baby who would be a maximum of 4 months old. Some lovely folk on Twitter helped convince me I should. So come June the 25th I will be heading down to London town to meet you all.

In preparation and to give you a bit of heads up, this is me...

Name: Lucy

Blog: theprojectlab

Twitter ID: @_lab_

Height: 5ft 6" (I think!)

Hair: Brown - in a short bob type thing!
Eyes: Blue

Likes: Sunshine, design, happiness, Internet, creativity, photography, holidays, new clothes, Thai food, eating out, my iPhone

Dislikes: Inconsiderate people, rain

If you are going to Cybermummy please say hi in the comments. Getting a little bit nervous that I won't know anyone!

Right I really should buy my train tickets now then :)

The Gallery: April - this year and last

2011-05-08T15:29:00.002+01:00

April last year was all about freedom and exploring.

We had a wedding to attend and a hen do in Paris. It was also Mr B's 30th Birthday and to celebrate we went on a once in a lifetime holiday to Japan. It was amazing and I have been meaning to blog properly about it for a long time but words can never quite capture what a great experience it was. It is such a friendly country and we were made to feel extremely welcome wherever we went, even when they couldn't speak a word of English!

A fertility shrine - it obviously worked!

So this April was a little different.

It has been all about Elliott. About finding our feet and about family.

April is however for me always about blossom whether you are in the UK or exploring elsewhere...

Photo taken in the bluebell woods April 2011

I am very late (as aways) posting my entry for the Gallery but why not see what it is all about here.

Silent Sunday

2011-05-08T01:08:00.001+01:00

For Silent Sunday

[ . . Wonderful Week . . ] Holding on and letting go

2011-05-07T12:45:00.000+01:00

This week has been about being honest with myself and really trying to enjoy things. And also letting go just a little bit.

The week started with my first solo outing and first missed feed. So what do I decide to do with my new found independence? Go to a car boot sale! The opportunity to meander around in a field in the sun looking at everyone elses junk. Excellent. I found lots of books for E, mainly story and nursery rhyme ones as I have realised I don't know any nursery rhymes and the only song I can ever think of to sing to him is Little Donkey! Not particularly appropriate for the summer :)

I had a lovely time and didn't miss him at all although it was nice to get home and be welcomed by a smile.

This week as you may have read has also been the start of formula feeding which we all seem to be taking to quite well. I am feeling better and better about this each time we give him a bottle because it really seems to agree with him. There are obviously things about breastfeeding that I am going to miss, like him holding on for dear life to my necklace (see above) so we are doing things gradually.

This week has also been about seeing friends and family and genearlly enjoying our time together. E is playing a lot more and is even grasping some of his toys. He is making new noises all the time and I don't think it will be long until we get a giggle.

Maybe most excitingly, tonight Mr B and I are having our first outing together. We are going out for dinner. Maybe appropriately we have chosen the Thai restaurant where we went on my due date. E is being dropped off at my parents with a bottle and we are all going to have fun.

After all, that is what it is all about. Fun.

An evening stroll

2011-05-06T21:58:00.001+01:00

I decided to go for a little stroll with E this evening so that Mr B could have a sleep.

The light was lovely and the birds were singing. Although I wish I had taken the SLR camera with me, time is never on my side so the trusty iPhone had to do the job. Oh and a little bit of Instagram!

Moving to the dark side?

2011-05-06T17:55:00.000+01:00

This must be one of the most debated topics of the mummy world but is a newish one for me. Breastfeeding versus formula bottle feeding.

And I am going to be honest straight from the start, we have now introduced formula, so I am no longer exclusively breast feeding. This has not been an easy decision but one we have arrived at finally this week.

I had exclusively breastfed from day one. From E first latching on in the hospital corridor (read more here) we have had a lot of ups and downs. The first few days and weeks were the worse. E would only feed if he was stripped to his nappy and had screamed at me constantly for a good 30 minutes. Even then he would latch on and off constantly, not releasing his grip on the off either! I was however lucky and got a lot of help. Probably the only positive thing about staying in hospital as long as I did. One lady, a feeding specialist actually stayed with me one morning for an hour and a half helping me try different feeding positions.

It was hard going with us both having to learn fast. We got there though and at his first weigh in he had only lost 4oz so we were obviously doing something right. But we were still struggling. The skin to skin we had introduced in hospital to combat the jaundice sleepiness continued to haunt us as he would only feed when I was half naked. Not too much of a problem when we were house bound but it became a bit of a hurdle when we wanted to start going out. We got past this hurdle too but I have never really embraced the breastfeeding in public thing. All my outings to date have been timed around feeds or logistically planned to ensure John Lewis' feeding room or the car is close by for feeding.

Despite the issues we have had I have always been very determined to keep breastfeeding and have worked around them all. Every midwife and health visitor that came to visit checked the latch and helped with feeds, I went to a Sure Start breastfeeding group. I really wanted E to have the best start possible. It has however gradually dawned on me that part of me not feeling myself and feeling constantly anxious is due in part to the breastfeeding. This has been something that is very hard to admit but the thought and suggestion that I could feed him in another way makes me physically stand taller, I feel lighter, I feel free.

This has been bubbling for a while and the last couple of weeks I have tried expressing in the hope to be able to have a few feeds 'off duty'. This seemed like a good solution until I actually came to try it. E is still feeding every 2 to 3 hours so squeezing in an extra feed to express is near impossible and expressing after a feed is difficult due to E's lack of day time sleeping and there generally not being enough milk.

It was however E's first bottle of expressed milk that finally clinched the deal.

He loved it!

Mr B gave it to him, he has been looking forward to feeding him for so long, and as I was preparing to leave the room (following all the advice I had read) E had already wolfed the first quarter down. There was no confusion, no hesitation. As far as he was concerned it was milk and he didn't care where it was coming from.

This was such a pleasant sight as in recent weeks E had been getting back to his old fussy ways of feeding and getting very aggravated. Latching on and pulling straight off again numerous times during a feed, hitting me, pulling my glasses off, kicking and screaming like crazy. Not a pleasant sight when you know your little boy is just hungry. I took it all very personally, he was acting like I was trying to poison him and I would often end up in tears. Suddenly there were a few alternatives.

I had bought some formula milk before he was born (I really never expected to succeed at all) but stocked up on some more at the weekend but was reluctant to give him any before seeing the health visitor this week for his weigh in. To be honest I was hoping for permission. But, I didn't get that, they are only there for advice apparently. Despite this he weighed in at 10lb 3oz which she was happy with and I left knowing I would introduce the first bottle of formula that night.

We did and it went well, despite the initial faff of sorting it out. He didn't hesitate. He didn't get angry. He didn't get as much wind as normal. He just drank it and fell straight to sleep.

Bliss.

So, here we are a couple of days later after two nights of formula feeding. He seems happy. I am getting there. So hopefully this is the future. I am not expecting the formula and combination feeding to solve everything but I do hope it is a step in the right direction.

I am still justifying the decision to myself and I think I will always feel a little guilty about 'giving up' but it is the right decision for us. I feel I have already given him the best start, we have bonded and he has had a lot of the goodness and antibodies already. I am proud that we got this far and that to date his growth has been down to solely me, but it is now time for a little help. We are gradually dropping a feed a day but I do hope to keep one breastfeed a day, whilst he still seems to want it and we both enjoy it.

Only time will tell.

When is a newborn not a newborn?

2011-05-03T22:09:00.000+01:00

I am starting to feel the days slip away. E is getting bigger every day, clothes are starting not to fit him and part of me is starting to already miss when he was tiny.

This is quite ironic being as though there have been many days where I have wished the days away in the hope that things would get easier for me and for him. As he gets bigger his colic is promised to get better, which it is, and the distant dream of a better night's sleep gets closer. This is all very appealing.

It is so appealing as there are many things that I have not at all got to grips with. He doesn't sleep or settle much during the day so I still struggle to get anything done. The house is still not as tidy or clean as it would have once been. The food shopping is never done. Numerous jobs remain half finished. And I have no time for myself.

Now this would have all been ok a few weeks ago. Everyone knows a newborn baby is hard work. We had lots of advice that the first few weeks would be a blur and we wouldn't really know what was happening and that was certainly true. I had an excuse for all these failings and feelings, "oh, but I have a newborn baby". But, what about at 6 weeks, what about at 8 weeks?

This week E turns 9 weeks and that doesn't really sound newborn to me. It is two full months. This is just ridiculous. There is no way I have been a Mum for two months. In fact, I still don't feel like a Mum.

We have felt many times that we are just looking after E for someone else but it has now sunken in that we are not handing him back to anyone, he isn't going anywhere. He is here to stay. This is his home and we are his Mum and Dad.

I googled 'when is a newborn baby not considered a newborn anymore' and there are numerous answers ranging from one month to three. So, I am sticking with three months. That feels slightly doable. June. I can cope with that. My baby will not then be a newborn.

Maybe by June I won't be crying at the smallest things. Maybe I'll get some of my brain back. Maybe I won't be needed just for my milk. Maybe I'll be able to choose to do something other than just sleep, tidy or eat. Maybe I will have some time for me.

But I have to accept that I AM now a Mum so it is never really going to be about me ever again. Maybe that is what I am really struggling with. Who'd have thought I could be so selfish. I have a beautiful baby boy and I am still thinking about me.

Frankly though, this beautiful baby boy deserves a better Mum than the one he sometimes has at the minute. He deserves a Mum with more confidence who doesn't shy away from situations, a Mum who is enjoying every single second of his journey.

And, to get to that point, to really make sure he gets the Mum he deserves I do actually need to find my old self. She is starting to make a reappearance, slowly but surely. She actually used to be pretty cool and I think we all miss her.

* I originally wrote this post at the end of last week and it had been a hard week.

I ummed and arred about posting it as things have gradually got better in the past few days but I decided to post it anyway.

This blog is to act as a reminder as much as an outlet. Thank you for putting up with my ramblings x *

Silent Sunday

2011-05-01T09:22:00.002+01:00

For Silent Sunday.

There is no linky this week so check out the hastag on Twitter to see other posts here.

[ . . Wonderful Week . . ] Daily delights

2011-04-29T22:20:00.000+01:00

Oops it has been nearly two weeks since my last Wonderful Week post but I have been a little bit busy attempting to be a Mum.

Every day it gets a little bit easier but I am still focusing a bit too much on the negative bits. In an attempt to snap myself out of it I have started to record the good bits of every day. I need to be able to look back and easily see the good bits, because there are actually quite a lot. The problem is that after a day of being screamed at with a wide awake baby I struggle to remember them and the bigger picture and get sucked into the baby vortex.

The idea is also partly inspired by Kirsty at Imperfect Page's blog which I read regularly and her beautiful things lists. As this is mainly a reminder for me I have set up a separate blog so I can post them easily on a daily basis.

I have called this record my daily delights - after all I do love an alliteration - and you can find it here.

So, since my last Wonderful Week post I have enjoyed a walk amongst the bluebells (I will blog soon), realised that sometimes selfish can be good and actually written some blog posts. But, more importantly E has acheived a lot more.

There is more playing and new noises. There has been tummy time in the sun and lots of kicking on his bouncy chair, which he is currently demonstrating whilst I type.

You see, it is all good.

I just need to remember that x

[ . . 30 before 30 . . ] 1. Have a baby ... Part 3

2011-04-24T21:59:00.001+01:00

My birth story part 1 and part 2.

We arrived in our new room and that is when the after pains and shock started to kick in. In fact things started to go a little down hill and foggy.

I was examined again by the main midwife and was told I would need a lot of stitches. Apparently Elliott's cord had been wrapped around his shoulder, hence the popping back up after every push but most crucially he came out with his hand up to his eye making it a little disruptive for me! Out came the stirrups and they got to work. As the student midwife was still there the main one was talking through a lot of what she was doing. Great for the student. Not so great for me. There was talk of me needing an epidural which panicked me, after getting through the birth naturally an epidural now would have seemed a little cruel but we managed to avoid it.

Up until now I hadn't really used much of my hypnobirthing practice as everything had been so quick but boy was it useful now. It really helped me remove myself from the room and situation. I was aware and I could hear everything but I was mentally somewhere else. An hour and half later and they were done. Phew.

Their shift was also over so it was goodbye to our lovely, amazing, inspiring midwives and hello chaotic hospital. Another midwife came to weigh Elliott, we still had no idea how heavy he was - 6lb 14.5oz - a nice healthy weight considering I was told I would be lucky to have a 5lb baby at the beginning of this pregnancy. The midwife put Elliott's first nappy on and dressed him with us both looking on intently. All of a sudden he looked like a different baby.

It was time for me to have a shower. It was only then that I realised I would have to move off the bed. My body suddenly felt very heavy and weak. The lack of food for 6 hours and blood loss had taken hold. The adrenalin was also wearing off. I hobbled to the shower with the help of a nurse. My brain was shot, I couldn't work out what I needed to take with me or what to do. It was the most difficult shower I had ever had but so, so worth it.

At some point I had the joy of a ham and cheese sandwich and we all sat looking at each other. Breastfeeding seemed to be working, and I was managing to get around, although I was very uncomfortable. We were moved to the ward and I managed to walk there unaided. Then we were left on our own. We weren't sure what was going on, no one checked us, there wasn't even a hot meal for me just another sandwich and a Pot Noodle that I had taken with us in case of a long labour. We felt stranded. Luckily the next thing we knew it was visiting time and my Mum and Dad came to meet their grandson which perked us all up a bit. They left when the bell rang and then the bombshell. Mr had got to leave. I couldn't face it so he managed to hide in our room for a couple of hours. We still hadn't changed a nappy or dressed him ourselves and all of a sudden I was going to be left on my own with a baby. I hadn't got a clue!

He left, we were both sad but with the help of a lovely student midwife Elliott and I started to work everything out for ourselves. I was suddenly a Mum! The initial breastfeeding success hadn't continued and I was feeling very anxious about everything. I didn't turn the light off all night and sat with the bed upright and my glasses on. I slept for 20 minutes.

That was just the start as I ended up being in hospital for 3 nights and 4 days. It was not good. They were completely understaffed and the aftercare was disappointing. There were many tears, talk of blood transfusions, numerous tests for jaundice, accusations of me asking for too many painkillers (despite being told too) and a lot of pain.

Family B making our escape!

We finally made our escape on Saturday night about 9pm after virtually bribing the head midwife. I had a fit of hysterics laughing trying to get Elliott into his sleepsuit and car seat and the car ride scared the life out of me.

But we were home. I was so happy I cried.

I had missed my husband, my home and Charlie the cat. I had been looking forward to being a family for nearly 10 months and finally I was home and everything could start for real.

The 'end'.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

If you managed to read all three parts of my birth story then congratulations for surviving my waffling. I have written this mainly as a record for me because as time goes on, just 7 weeks later, the details are already getting hazy.

It truly was the most amazing experience but I had always seen it as the end. Which it was in a way, the end of the pregnancy, but blimey that really is only just the beginning isn't it!

Silent Sunday

2011-04-23T19:09:00.001+01:00

For Silent Sunday

[ . . 30 before 30 . . ] 1. Have a baby... Part 2

2011-04-22T09:30:00.002+01:00

Part 1 of my birth story can be found here.

I was now feeling a mixture of pain and excitement - it really wouldn't be long until we would finally meet Baby B.

After some encouragement, OK well a lot of encouragement, in between contractions I moved off my back on to my knees and into a position hanging over the back of the bed. The pain was pretty constant but to my surprise I kept refusing gas and air but I did keep saying how I couldn't continue anymore and getting quite teary. I'm not sure what I thought the other options were but I guess I was in transition.

We had two midwives at this point, a student who stayed with us the whole time and the main midwife who was in and out. They told me I could start pushing when I wanted to but I just didn't understand what I should be doing. Nothing seemed to be happening. After a while I heard the midwife behind me, I had no idea she was there, say she had a plan and then she left the room. Slightly bemused we continued half pushing on each contraction and measuring baby's heartrate in between.

After what seemed like ages she returned sounding pleased with herself and accompanied by a birthing stool. She explained what to do so I sat on the stool with Mr behind me and I pushed down with each contraction. This seemed to speed up progress and everyone was happy again.

The next hour is somewhat hazy but involved baby's heartrate dropping to 90bpm, them panicking, the implements for an episiotomy making an appearance, me pushing but not much happening and the talk of a catheter when we realised I hadn't been to the toilet for 4 hours. The threat of intervention, the promise of soon meeting my baby and the talk of time limits made me very determined. I was going to push this baby out.

Right up until the end I was walking (ok, hobbling) around in between contractions as I was getting dead legs from sitting on the stool. I remember laughing and joking with the midwives. It was quite surreal and not at all like I had imagined.

After quite a bit of pushing we were making good progress with Mr behind me taking the pressure of me pushing down with my arms, the student midwife to my left intermittently checking baby's heartrate and the main midwife lying on the floor underneath me!

Finally, they said they had got hold of the head and I remember shouting "well don't let go then!" as up until then every time I pushed, baby popped back up again. They laughed and with a few more pushes Baby B was born at 11.14am, only 7 hours after my very first contraction.

I had wanted Mr to tell me whether Baby B was a boy or girl but it didn't quite work out that way as we both saw him at the same time.

It was perfect.

Mr B behind me hugging me with us both looking at our little boy, Elliott Henry.

I'm actually getting quite choked up writing this. I remember him looking back up at me and being completely blown away. Mr and I looked at each other and through the tears and happiness I blurted out "we did it?!" - I truly never thought we would get to this point, it suddenly felt very real.

The midwives asked us for a hat to put on Elliott whilst he was wrapped in the towel but we still didn't have any of our things. All the bags were still in the car. They however have some for these very scenarios, so Elliott's first piece of clothing was a little hand knitted hat donated to the hospital by local old ladies!

It was then that my legs really started aching, I was still sitting/perching on the blooming stool! So whilst having my first cuddle and skin to skin I was thinking about how/if I could stand up. As we had managed the birth completely naturally to that point (I still hadn't had any gas and air) I wanted to try and deliver the placenta naturally. We waited for the umbilical cord to stop pulsating, had it clamped and somehow I was moved on to the bed. My body was very thankful!

Hello Mummy x

The placenta didn't seem to want to come away on its own and I had lost a fair bit of blood so it was recommended I had the injection. We went ahead and that certainly did the trick. The midwives did their tidying and left us to it. We had about an hour to ourselves, I think they had to rush off to another delivery but it was a great opportunity to bond as a family - not really knowing what to make of everything and just looking at each other.

Mr had his first cuddle and I rang my Mum and Dad to tell them they had a grandson. We tried to get Elliott to latch on but he wasn't really having any of it and was more interested in looking around.

The midwives came back in to check on us and after having a quick check of me said "ah, we best get you stitched up as it is looking a little bit like a horror film down there" - nice!

At this point we were still in the assessment room, there had never been time to move us to a proper delivery suite. So four hours after we had arrived at the hospital we were on our way to a delivery suite, with a baby! They started to wheel me out on the bed and it was then that Elliott decided to latch on. My first breastfeeding experience was therefore whilst being wheeled through a corridor, naked with just a sheet covering my modesty.

I had always thought the birth would be the end of the story, how wrong I was - part three coming soon...

Read part 3 now...

[ . . 30 before 30 . . ] 1. Have a baby...Part 1

2011-04-19T21:52:00.002+01:00

Well, probably the biggest one from my 30 before 30 list, hence it being number 1.

This is something that Mr B and I had wanted for some time and so 36 weeks after our first ever pregnancy test and our first ever positive result we finally got to say hello to Baby B!

I have enjoyed reading other peoples birth stories so thought I would share mine too.

1st March 2011, my due date. Everyone had told me that baby would have arrived by now. I don't mean just strangers in the street giving their opinions but family members and mainly my midwife. Also my money was on 25th February so by the time the 1st finally came I was already disappointed that I still had no baby.

My due date did however mark a change in me. There was no baby so frankly I just had to get on with things and trust that baby would arrive when he/she was ready. In order to take my mind off things we decided to go out for dinner to my favourite Thai restaurant (also ticking off number 6 and 7 from the list!). The waiter, who always seems to recognise us (we do go there alot!) looked at my bump as we were paying the bill and said "due next month?" when I laughed and said "no, today" he looked like he had seen a ghost! Good job it was as we were leaving else I think he would have rushed our food out before we had ordered to avoid me giving birth there and then!

We had a lovely night and when we got home I asked Mr to take a photo as I just had a feeling that might be the last we saw of bump.

The last bump photo

I awoke at 4.20am the next morning with what felt like a mixture between braxton hicks and stomach ache. I had woken up many nights before thinking I was feeling things that had turned out to be nothing so I didn't take too much notice. I put it down to my Thai curry, turned over and got myself back to sleep. I drifted straight off but awoke with a similar feeling, I looked at the clock exactly 30 minutes later. Oh, maybe I could get excited. But no, not wanting to tempt fate and certainly not wanting to get Mr B's hopes up I made myself go back to sleep. As if by magic I awoke exactly 30 minutes later, I lay there thinking, wow maybe it really is going to be like it says in the books.

At this point, my memory told me that I woke Mr B up but having just checked the facts apparently I didn't. He woke up because of my moans about 6am and was greeted with me sat up in bed telling him not to get excited. The contractions - I was now happy to call them that - continued and at around 7am when they were 5 minutes apart and along with lots of other labour progressing signs (I will spare you the details!) we rang the hospital. I spoke to them but they advised that it was far too early and to try and last at least another couple of hours until 9am, have some paracetamol, a bath and some toast and get back in touch later.

Mr B went off to get ready and I was feeling quite sick so shunned the toast and attempted a bath. I was not quite sure how I was going to get myself in and out of our roll top bath but went with it. It wasn't long before we realised there wasn't going to be time for a shower so whilst Mr was gathering everything together for take off I had a bath. It did take the edge off the contractions but I suddenly felt the need to push. Surely my mind was playing tricks on me and just getting carried away?! I had read too many books and watched too many episodes of One Born Every Minute so I dismissed it but we were quite convinced it was time to call the hospital again. It was only 7.15am.

We set off during rush hour (great!) and with some very skillful driving and a lot of breathing we arrived at 8am with me (whilst trying to sound calm, but failing greatly) instructing Mr to just leave the car wherever. I couldn't even make it the 25 metres to the door without nearly ending up on the floor. Mr pushed some guys out of the way at reception and I headed down to the labour ward - we had been there many times before so I knew exactly where I was going.

We were welcomed but in a slightly dismissive manner, I guess they are used to seeing lots of ladies in labour and we were directed to an assessment room and told someone would be with us soon. The pain was now pretty intense and no one was coming so I decided to get a bit more vocal. I needed them to take me seriously.

Finally, someone came in to see us and started chit chat, I am normally very polite but I wasn't really in the mood for chit chat. They put the monitor on to check the baby's heartbeat and had a feel of my tummy and said they didn't think the baby's head was down. It had to be, it had been down for about 10 weeks! There was talk of an ultrasound and then the midwife disappeared. The pain was now quite constant and I was obviously being quite loud as Mr went to get someone to examine me.

A nice smiley lady arrived and examined me, during which my waters broke. We heard a "well" and I was preparing myself for the worse but I don't think I have been as happy as I was then for a long time as she said, "well you are 9cm dilated and the baby has a lot of hair".

Wow, suddenly everything made sense. Not being able to feel the head (it was too low down), the urge to push and most importantly the pain. They read my birth plan, giggling at the bit about if labour was slow to progress and got the gas and air ready.

The midwives instructed Mr not to leave the room, this baby could be born any minute. The car would have to remain with no car park ticket on it with all my carefully packed bags (and my iPhone!) in it.

To be continued...

Read part 2 now...

[ . . Wonderful Week . . ] Firsts

2011-04-17T11:14:00.000+01:00

I can't quite believe it is two weeks since I declared that I was 'back' and since then all I have managed to achieve are some Silent Sunday and The Gallery posts - frankly the ones I find the easiest. I somehow find time in between and during feeds, nappies and winding to find a photo and attach some words.

I am however still not finding the time to actually get all the thoughts whirling around in my head out into words and write actual blog posts. Something I really think I need to do for my own sanity. I first started this blog to 'give me something to do' and as something to focus on after getting made redundant but now I think I need it as my outlet. I need to get these thoughts and feelings out. I am currently typing this as fast as I can whilst E is asleep on the sofa next to me (you never really know how long these moments will last) and Mr B is upstairs catching up on his sleep. I am really going to try to make the most of every second.

One boost during the past week is that some lovely person nominated me for a MAD Award. Not probably quite as rude as you might think, it isn't a classification of madness (although that may be more fitting right now), the Mads celebrate the UK's best mum and dad blogs and I have been nominated in the Best Baby Blog category. There are over 40 blogs nominated in the category so I don't really expect to get into the five shortlisted blogs that will go forward but it is still nice to be thought of. If however you haven't nominated yet and enjoy reading my blog I would really appreciate it if you would consider theprojectlab - especially as next year we won't qualify for the baby category :). You can nominate your favourite blogs here.

Another first for this week has been E's first smiles. I say smiles as he had been doing it for a few days before Mr B and I would admit that it was actually a smile. Poor boy, he had learnt this new skill and we were just dismissing it! It wasn't until the health visitor saw him that she commented "oh he is smiling now then" and made a note in his little red book that I took notice. Seriously, how bad are we, one of those firsts that new parents long for and enjoy and we missed it. Oh well, I can safely say we are now enjoying every smile and every new gurgley noise that comes along.

So through the exhaustion, frustration and pain caused by the lack of sleep and the colic we are relishing every first whether we notice them immediately or not!

What were your favourite firsts? Let me know so I can keep my eye out and not miss any more :)

Silent Sunday

2011-04-17T08:16:00.001+01:00

For Silent Sunday

The Gallery: Mother Love - The newbie

2011-04-11T17:55:00.000+01:00

Well this is a lot later than I had planned to post but how could I miss out on the gallery when the prompt is about mothers.

Being a new mother (sorry if you are sick if hearing about it) of only five weeks has been a rollercoaster that's for sure. There have been some ups and downs so far. Some of the downs I am not quite ready to share but hopefully we are nearly over them.

I never thought motherhood would be easy but I really did not anticipate it being quite this hard. It has tested my every being and not being able to control every detail of my days and nights is still not completely agreeing with me. I am hoping however that we can meet somewhere in the middle of the current craziness and my control freakiness. We'll see.

One thing for sure though is that through all this has been love, words of encouragement and looks of kindness. From my family. From my friends. And from Elliott.

All I can hope is that as I start to work this all out I can continue the great motherly love that came before me.

My Mum, my Mum's Mum, Elliott and the new Mum (oh that's me!)

Why not have a look at the other entries for Mother Love over at Sticky Fingers.

Silent Sunday

2011-04-10T21:22:00.002+01:00

For Silent Sunday.

Silent Sunday

2011-04-03T07:42:00.001+01:00

For Silent Sunday

[ . . Wonderful Week . . ] I'm back!

2011-03-31T17:26:00.000+01:00

Well you will have noticed that my Wonderful Week posts have been a little thin on the ground in recent weeks. Well four weeks to be exact. You will also no doubt have realised why this is. The arrival of Baby B who is now known as E. :)

E arrived on the 2nd March, only one day after my due date after all (full birth story to appear soon). Since then our world has been turned upside down. To the parents out there this won't be surprising, to those who are not parents you may be thinking 'oh that's what they all say' (like I did!). But it really is true, not just a cliche.

I can not believe that four weeks has passed since E was born, the time just disappears. What with feeding every 2/3 hours, changing nappies, sleeping and anything else we can squeeze in like the excitement of tidying the kitchen etc, there really is NO time. I was expecting to feel tired but the surprise for me is the relentlessness of the baby cycle - change, feed, wind, sleep...repeat.

This hit me hard at first. I soon lost all feeling of who 'I' was. There have been many conversations of where has Lucy gone. I felt as though I had no identity other than that of 'feeding/milk machine' and even that wasn't easy. So the reason this last week has been wonderful, is that I finally feel like I am on my way back. I have decided not to run away and join the circus, or to sell E on eBay. Well not this week anyway.

I am taking one day at a time, enjoying my new family and not pressurising myself to be the perfect mum. After all, does that really exist anyway?!

The Gallery: Hair - Oh look at his hair!

2011-03-30T20:15:00.000+01:00

I couldn't resist this weeks prompt for the gallery! Hair!

This could not be more apt at the minute. Our new little arrival (when do I have to stop saying new and little?) has the most amazing hair. In fact it was the first thing we were told when we arrived at the hospital when I was in labour!

Well we weren't disappointed. Elliott has the most amazing head of hair. We were warned it might fall out, or he might get a bald patch. But nothing yet. The only change has been it lightening to my hair colour rather than the Mr's.

His hair is the first thing that everyone comments on. The midwifes in the hospital, friends and family, the strangers in the street.

So, here it is without further ado. My contribution to hair, my gorgeous little boy, his hair and one of his priceless expressions - yes I know it's just wind :)

Why not take a look at the other entries over at Sticky Fingers.

Silent Sunday

2011-03-27T11:55:00.001+01:00

For Silent Sunday.

Silent Sunday: Chilling in the park

2011-03-20T09:19:00.001Z

For Silent Sunday.

The Gallery: Trees - Thinking of Japan

2011-03-16T14:09:00.000Z

I haven't really had chance to blog in the past couple of weeks due to our new little arrival, but at the minute I am trying to keep up with The Gallery and Silent Sunday just to keep me sane :)

This week's prompt is trees. I had hoped to get out in the garden with the SLR as there are lots of buds that seem to have suddenly appeared but this was a little unrealistic. So instead I raided the archives again.

I went straight to our photos of Japan, as I am sure it is in all of our minds since recent events. Crazy to think that we were there a just under a year ago! We saw many beautiful trees in Japan but this photo really captures it for me. Wishing Japan some brighter days.

Why not have a look at the other entries here.

Silent Sunday: Working it all out

2011-03-13T13:18:00.001Z

For Silent Sunday.

Silent Sunday: The waiting's over!

2011-03-06T21:08:00.001Z

For Silent Sunday

[ . . Wonderful Week . . ] Just have a go

2011-02-28T15:35:00.000Z

Pincushion by blondesbackyard available from Etsy

Let's get it out of the way straight away shall we - still no baby! I am going to pretend that I am absolutely fine about this. Obviously we would rather baby be here but alas, no, he/she has other ideas.

So in a mission to take my mind of this fact - and thinking that if I started something, baby might want to disrupt my plans - I got my sewing machine out. Encouraged by the nursery inspiration from a couple of weeks back I wanted to make some things for the baby's nursery.

My mum and dad bought me my new sewing machine for my birthday back in July last year but embarrassingly I hadn't used it until this week. This is through a mixture of my birthday being a strange time when we weren't really sure if Baby B was going to stick around - I was only a few weeks pregnant and had already had quite a few issues. The other reason being that the house has been a tip for most of the time since due to constant decorating so getting the sewing machine out seemed a bit too much like a treat.

Another reason, is that I tend to have these fads about things and then go off them. "If only I had a new sewing machine I'm sure I would do loads of sewing" - that kind of thing! And the final reason that I am going to own up to is that I was a little scared of it! My mum is a brilliant seamstress and always has been so I feel there is a lot to live up to. Not that anyone is testing me you understand, this is just the pressure I seem to like to put on myself for no apparent reason. I have been aware of this for sometime which is why it made it on to my 30 before 30 list at number 22.

I shouldn't have worried, it was quite successful. I even managed some stitches! A lot easier to use than I expected and I seemed to have remembered everything I knew from the last few times I had used a sewing machine - probably about 5 years ago.

I have finished one item, a laundry bag for the nursery. I thought this was a good one to start with, lots of straight lines and seams! It looks good and I keep going to have a look at it hanging on the back of the door to remind myself I can sew. Next on the list is an organiser to hang on the cot (inspired by this one) and some soft activity cubes (inspired by these). Finally I want to make some bunting but with baby's name on. Needless to say this one will have to wait. Baby can you hear me?

So, this week was wonderful because I actually decided to just get on with something to distract me from wishing each day away.

Silent Sunday: The sewing machine is go!

2011-02-27T20:18:00.000Z

For Silent Sunday

Dear so and so...

2011-02-25T14:18:00.000Z

Dear the blogging world,

Thank you for accepting me, encouraging me and inspiring me to continue with this blog. It now must be some sort of record for me keeping it up. Thank you for your meme's and prompts. What with the Gallery on a Wednesday, Silent Sunday and now my first venture into 'Dear So and So' there are constant ideas. And the comments that come with them, they really make my day.

L x

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Dear Charlie,

You really are the most wonderful cat. So much more than a pet - in fact that term makes me a little upset. Thank you for wanting to sit with me all the time and have lots of fuss. I like how you seem to want to get as close to bump as you can and how you looked generally concerned when I was poorly yesterday.

I really hope you do not change when baby arrives. You are going to make an excellent big 'brother'.

L x

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Dear Mr B,

This week you have tested me by entering my little 'private' online world. Following me on Twitter means you can now see into my brain - not like you couldn't anyway! Maybe I need to accept that my anonymity has gone. Maybe it never existed anyway.

I don't know why this seemed so strange to begin with, I lost my Twitter voice for a few hours. We are so close, you know how I tick. You know my strengths, my weaknesses and my weirdnesses. You know I am a geek. All this, and you still love me. Please don't ever stop.

L x

PS. The cutest part of you now being 'into' Twitter rather than just taking the piss out of me is that I am able to teach you something. This doesn't happen very often. #theresaturnupforthebooks hehe!

____________________________________________________________________

Dear Baby B,

So you continue to tease us with your potential early arrival. Little signs here and there. It looks like you aren't going to arrive today like we had hoped but you still have a few days to meet the target.

Whenever you decide to make an entrance into this world please know that you have a very excited mummy and daddy-to-be waiting to cuddle you and hold your hand. You may be scared but we are a little bit too! Will we know how to change your nappy, what will we do when we can't stop you crying? But we are all in this together. We will get there.

Mummy, x

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Dear Hairdresser,

Thank you for your words this week and explaining to me that I can bring Baby B with me to my next appointment. These are the things that I don't even realise I don't know until I am told. I wouldn't have known what to do.

There are going to be so many more of these in the coming weeks I feel. But thank you for crossing one of my list.

L x

__________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer: the above are in no particular order!

Why not pop over to 3 Bedroom Bungalow using the link below to see more Dear So and So's.

Music to give birth to...

2011-02-24T11:23:00.001Z

I have been wanting to put together a playlist for the hospital for some time ready for Baby B's arrival into the world and inspired by a post over at Mumra's blog I thought I would share some of my choices with you.

As I am sure is a similar story for many people I am hoping for as natural a birth as possible. I am not however hung up on this and will do whatever it takes to make sure baby and I are as safe as possible. Part of this for me is positive thinking and feeling relaxed and comfortable. Music for me has that great power of being able to transport you to somewhere else. The associations we have with certain songs can be very strong. So this, along with some of my hypnobirthing mp3s from Tums2Mums should be the perfect mix.

The first for me has to be Air, and I could have picked nearly any song from the Moon Safari album. It is always the first album I go to when I want to switch off and drift away. I have chosen New Star in the Sky mainly for the name!

From a similar era for me is Kings of Convenience's, Quiet Is the New Loud. This takes me straight back to when I first met Mr B and has lots of happy memories.

Another from a similar genre is Royksopp and the album Melody AM.

To change the tone a little bit and add some guitar next I have picked Never Say Anything from The Belles. Mr B was in a band when I first met him back in 2002 and our lives revolved quite substantially around going to gigs and him playing gigs. He therefore always had a new favourite band and at one time this was them. He played at the same gigs with them a few times and we still listen at home.

I have realised how old all these songs are so to bring it a little bit more up to date is Midlake. We went to see them in November and at that stage Baby B wasn't wriggling too much and the music (and probably the bass) woke little one up and he/she went crazy! We have since listened to their albums in the car a lot and Baby B seems to approve.

I hope you liked the peek into my music taste - heavily influenced by Mr B. Which no doubt Baby B's will be too.

Why not go over to Mumra's blog now following the link below to see more great playlists...

The Gallery: Expressions - when girls get together

2011-02-23T09:15:00.001Z

Well this week's prompt for the gallery is Expressions.

If this week had gone a little differently I might have chosen the expression of a newborn but that wasn't meant to be. Therefore I raided the archives again and through a mixture of reminiscing and laughter I stumbled upon the photos from my best friend's hen party last April in Paris.

We had such a great time, I had only got back from Japan a few days before so was a little disorientated and staying for three nights on a barge on the Seine, possibly didn't help.

There were many expressions over the weekend, but mainly laughter. The photo I have chosen is from the Eurostar on the way home. It certainly isn't the best photo I have ever taken but it captures the mood and memories perfectly. Champagne had seemed to be a theme of the weekend.

If you look closely you can see not only my friend's expressions but also those of slight panic in the passengers in the reflection of the window. Something along the lines of "great, a few hours on a train with a group of giggly girls drinking champagne!". Oh well, it was fun and this year we all turn 30 and should probably start to grow up a little. To be honest, I am not going to hold my breath! x

Why not go and have a look at some of the other entries now here.

[ . . 30 before 30 . . ] 17. Take more photos with the digital SLR

2011-02-22T10:05:00.004Z

You may have already read about my love for photography on theprojectlab but also that it is one of those things that I never really get round to doing hence it making it on to my 30 before 30 list.

My weekly photo post for the gallery has helped to reignite my love for photography but still getting out to actually take new photos is not easy - and it is not going to get any easier I fear. In an attempt to make it that little bit easier I have changed the title of this one on my list from 'spending half a day taking photos' (when was this ever going to happen!) to just 'take more photos'.

A couple of weekends ago the sun decided to make a rare appearance so we made the most of it and went for a walk around one of our local favourites, Thornton Reservoir. It was originally built in 1854 and is now owned by Severn Trent Water and there is a lovely walk around the outside which is just under 2.5 miles. Perfect for a sunny Saturday. I didn't take too many pictures but I hope you enjoy the ones I have picked out below.

Wishing you all lots of sunny days. x

[ . . Wonderful Week . . ] Waiting...waiting...waiting...

2011-02-21T11:03:00.000Z

I have really left this post until the last possible moment hoping that it could be an 'introducing you to Baby B' rather than a 'we a still waiting' but hey, baby knows best! :)

Another week, another appointment with the midwife who actually visited me at home which felt very odd. I'm not home bound, I am just pregnant! Anyway, I shouldn't complain. All was well after the previous week's dramas and baby behaved her/himself. Our normal midwife, who we have been very lucky to see most of the time, is actually on holiday next week and despite us only be 38/39 weeks she keeps telling us that she is expecting to come back to baby and not pregnant me. I do hope she is right.

This past week has also been the first that I haven't had too much work to do, apart from a sneaky VAT return. I still haven't been that great at relaxing. It's just not me. [Please remind me of that when I have a little baby!] I do however want to get better at it as I think baby might be waiting for me to 'stop' before saying hello.

Towards the end of the week, after all the outstanding jobs were finished I also had a mini breakdown. It caught me completely out of the blue. We were sat down after lunch and I suddenly realised things would never be the same again once Baby B arrived. I just burst into tears.

You will all know that I have been very excited about the arrival of Baby B, and I still am, but I think all the positivity has been hiding some other feelings. Mr B and I have always been so happy, which I am so thankful for, but it suddenly dawned on me that things will change. After the little wobble and after talking to Mr B (and crying on him!) I realised that yes things will change, but it is a new chapter. No one is going to suddenly take all our happy memories away, we are simply going to have more good times, happiness and memories.

So, this week has been wonderful because I have realised that this is the start of a new chapter, not a new book!

Silent Sunday: A bit of a wobble!

2011-02-20T12:28:00.000Z

For Silent Sunday.

The lovely Jay is having a well deserved Sunday off this week so there is no Linky to see all the other Silent Sunday entries. There are both happy and sad reasons why which you can read here. You can however see alot of the entries by following the hashtag on twitter #SilentSunday.